I hope you’re doing well and staying sane. If not, it’s okay and these times will pass. But while we’re all still in this ‘new normal’ together, why not be unproductive with me?
Well, quite frankly, I hate being ‘unproductive.’ And, yes, I know we all have our own definition of productivity. Unfortunately, for me, being in quarantine for almost 2 months, I don’t always feel like I’m achieving my standards anymore.
— Okay, I haven’t been home for 2 months straight. I left my house for groceries and an occasional iced coffee run when I didn’t feel like making my own.
Anyways, I’ve had some pretty low days while stuck at home and I’ve noticed, on those low days- I’m not really doing much.
I started off pretty strong at the beginning of all of this because I truly missed staying at home. I finally had weekday mornings back. I didn’t have 18-20 hour days anymore. I didn’t have to wake up at 5:30am. I didn’t have to commute or fight for parking spots. No strict schedule of when to go here or there. I actually had my time. So much so that I maximized all my hobbies and interests within the first 2 weeks.
Now, that’s where I messed up. I was living up to my standards of productivity, but with minimal amount of stress and maybe too much time on my hands. Although I made a schedule for myself, the longer I stayed home, the harder it was to keep it up. That’s when I began to criticize myself and my ‘productivity.’ Especially when Nintendo released Animal Crossing: New Horizons. That game destroyed me.
I went from going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 7am to going to bed with the sun and waking up to lunch. My mornings were gone, except when I had class, but even then, I was exhausted. I only did my homework then went back to playing.
This lasted a full week before I picked myself up and moved onto… Netflix. Yikes.
At this point, I was quite devastated with myself and felt quite sad. But I didn’t want to dwell longer than I needed to so I sat myself down and tried to pinpoint things I could fix entirely or improve on.
After following many self-help/inspiring IG accounts, reading some really good quotes and verses, and extensively talking out my feelings to my journal and others- I had concluded: Why not appreciate my ‘unproductivity’? Why was I being so hard on myself? For not doing as much as I did when in reality, now, I don’t have to really do that much? Why can’t I just accept that some days… I just really don’t want to do anything?
Anything, besides laying on the couch and watching a whole lot of Netflix or way too many Animal Crossing Island Tours on YouTube. Throw in some Hulu and Disney+, too. Sometimes I don’t want to do anything, besides reading books that I want to read- not my textbooks. Sometimes, I just want to be a big loaf and stare at the ceiling- doing nothing except maybe daydreaming or reflecting to myself.